6/19/11

She sat on my bed in her green blouse and looked at me. We both smiled for a minute before she moved toward me, grabbing my collar. She leaned forward and kissed me passionately. I didn’t resist. How could I, having day-dreamed about this moment a thousand times over? I finally pulled away, realizing the gravity of my actions. I am suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. How could I have kissed her? My girlfriend’s friend. How could she have kissed me? Her boyfriend’s friend. How could this have happened? 

I can’t pretend I never saw anything in her. There’s no denying that she’s an amazing girl. I’ve told her that a million times too. I always knew I thought about her too much. I would stay up late looking at pictures of her and dream of her at night. I had always wondered what it would be like with her, but I never thought this would happen. It’s not like we could ever have any sort of relationship. I was moving in a matter of months. It would kill me to start something with her and then have to move away.

We began to process what had just happened. She immediately took full responsibility. It was really she who kissed me. She had leaned forward. She had grabbed me. I knew she would feel responsible, but I told her that I didn’t resist. I kissed her back. It was just as much my fault as hers.

Blue Eyes

My dear lady, gaze upon the western sky
Is it not a mirror image of the look in your eye?
Many would say that the two are the same
The soft evening color seems to whisper your name
I however find the contrary to be true
For softness and smoothness speak nothing of you
With eyes like the ocean, impossible to tame
A force that men drown in, going slowly insane
An impossible fight against the siren's song's might
For danger is found in the calmest of nights

Kyle

I was never the most socially inclined kid growing up. Even to this day I only have a handful of people I can really call my friends. But in elementary school, Kyle was really my only friend. We would hang out almost every weekend and play new made-up games in his yard. As we got older, our attention shifted primarily to video games. We would play for hours at a time. I really liked to win. I was such a poor sport, I can't believe Kyle put up with me all of those years. Looking back, I don't like how I was back then. It's amazing how much I've matured in the last ten years. Sometimes I wonder if Kyle and I would be able to be friends now.